A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have a fiancee that had a relationship with his first cousin and they had kids together 3 and one died. when i first met him he had a picture of his cousin in his wallet, after we started our relationship, i told a few of my friends about him and what he did. they just couldn't believe it. we were engaged but too many things have happened in our relationshipa and that is one of the reasons why i will never marry him is that he did sleep with his cousin and expects me not to say anything about it. we are living together now for 8 1/2 yrs and i am not happy, what should i do, leave him to try and find my own happiness
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 No European country prohibits marriage between first cousins. It is also legal throughout Canada and Mexico to marry your cousin. The U.S. is the only western country with cousin marriage restrictions.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (24 October 2009):
You need to explain more about this relationship. What do you mean, 'Your friends couldn't believe what he'd done'? Why shouldn't he have a picture of his cousin in his wallet? It isn't illegal to sleep with your cousin in most countries.
But that isn't what the problem is, and you haven't told us why after all this time you want to leave.
What has gone wrong now?
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A
female
reader, crazychick +, writes (24 October 2009):
 From what you have written, it sounds like you have made up your mind but just want approval. It's ok to want to be happy, it sounds like your relationship has run its course so if you are not happy and don't think you can work it out then you should leave. You can't help how you feel about his past (and I think most people would share your views) you can carry on with day to day life but it would always be in the back of your mind making you squirm (I know from a similar experience, something in my partners past always bothered me).
I'm not going to lie to you, it will be very strange when you first split up... there will be days where you're loving the freedom, then days where you miss him and the security and only remember the good times. Just try to keep a balanced mind and remind yourself why you left in the first place before you rush back into anything.
I really hope this helps. Good luck, I hope you find your happiness :)
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A
male
reader, Candleman  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 Up until two weeks ago, I would have been on the side of the majority who would be frowning upon the cousin relations. But someone on this website provided this link and I must say that it opened my eyes a bit in regards to cousin relationships.
It really dispells a lot things that mainstream society has taken for granted. http://cousincouples.com
I provide this to you in order for you to judge for yourself. Perhaps it can help you deal w/ this situation in regards to the cousin relationship more.
You only listed this problem as the reason for your unhappiness. Considering society is the way it is, then yea, if you can't live w/ this, then you should leave.
Also, what else is it that makes you unhappy. If you can not resolve these issues, then, yea, you should leave.
I wish you the best
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