A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am having a real problem stopping myself from beating myself up over a stupid mistake I have made. I have had time to think about my actions and have soul searched long and hard to understand why I did what I did which I fully understand now, but I am having difficulty accepting it, forgiving myself and moving on with the lessons I have learned. I want to forgive myself and I know I can't go back to put things right so how do I get out of this hell and let go? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): You beat yourself up because you are choosing to, guilt can get heavy the longer we carry it. Are you sure all the guilt lies at your door anyway? sure it wasn't somebody else off loading their guilt onto you while you were vulnerable? Life is to be enjoyed not for suffering, but that depends what you have done of course. If it is not serious then lighten up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Put things right with you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): For some as yourself, forgiving is a process.
1st remember you are Human and make mistakes..nobody's perfect, in fact you may think too highly of yourself (ego)
2nd If you've tried forgiving yourself, but the next day you're beating yourself again, picture yourself burying it 6 feet under. It's there to stay!...and it symbolizes it's over.
Your sensitive heart will mend in time. You've been humbled,and your remorse tells me you're truly sorry. Let this be a lesson learned to become a better person. If there's anything you can do to make things right, that's healing too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI became needy and desperate in my relationship putting too much pressure on my partner for attention causing it to (quite understandably) break down.. I understand now how i came to be like i was and have my reasons i suppose and have learned a valuable lesson never to get like that again.. However it's the letting go that i am struggling with... I am black and blue but a lot lot wiser
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 October 2008):
 Definitely need specifics. Did this mistake hurt someone besides yourself? I make stupid mistakes all the time but what kind of scale are we talking about here?
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