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I am falling way behind people my age with girls, and it's getting to me bad!

Tagged as: Dating, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 October 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 October 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi there.

Well i am 19, and i feel like i am slipping behind others teenagers my age to be honest. I don't hide away in a corner. I talk to people, guys and girls my age. I have plenty of friends, and i am outgoing. Told i am a good looking guy. But i have only been in one 'relationship', or half of one. I never even kissed the girl i was with at that time (2 years ago) and she ended up moving on, to my 'friend' to be exact. But that dosen't bother me too much becuase i found out i was better off without her after we seperated.

I have recently been into a girl i know, we talk and are friends. But i know you only get limited chances to make your move, and becuase of my lack of experience with girls i feel she may move away or she may already have done that (i have reasons to beleive), but i don't blame her at all. Anyway i have been told she likes me but if that still stands as of now i dont know. There still might be some chance though i think, but i only see her mostly on weekends. We are in touch via myspace though, and i am in her top 4 if that even means anything at all (although we both aren't big on myspace).

I feel the longer i leave this with getting a girlfriend, the harder it will get. It's an awful feeling for me when i walk around a park or anywhere and see people my age together and happy, or see my friends in the same position. It drills into my head each day, and is starting to put me off things. It seems to worsen every year.

I would like to take a step up before i turn 20 next year. I don't want sex straight away or anything mad like that, i just want someone to be with, love, care for and to make them happy. People say i am a great guy to know, if this is so, why dosent it help me? It's clouding my mind up and i am getting very confused and upset about it all, it seems most girls as far as i can see around here want 'bad boys'. But i know thats not true for every girl, plus i dont want to go around beating people up and damaging things for no reason to impress someone. I'm not that type of person anyway.

So what should i do? Is there a way forward at all with this girl? Is there more things i can do, say, places i can go to if it dosen't happen with her? And what can i do with her if there is a chance to progress? All i know is i am going to have to kick into gear soon becuase it is going to get worse for me if i dont.

Sorry it's a bit long, and thanks for listening.

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A male reader, GingerPrinz United Kingdom +, writes (3 October 2007):

Bro, it's not a competition, we all have different paths in life, the most important thing is to be happy with your choices and be a generally good human being. Your instinct not be one of the "bad boys" will serve you very well later on, when daft little girls realise that maybe their tracksuit wearing buckfast drinking hooligan isn't exactly a "long term prospect" - and think of this, when they're 40, and cruising the clubs being "the weird old guy", you'll be cosied up to a lovely lady who truly appreciates your good qualities! You shall have the last laugh my friend, don't feel the need to rush anything.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

Im not entirely sure why a girlfriend is such a big deal to you - im sure you will eventually find they are more trouble than they are worth, ha!

Now, its all about confidence, stop thinking about what you havnt had and start thinking of what you will and can have. You need to just go and ask the girl you like out. She is waiting for you to do it and is probably thinking she has picked up the wrong signals.

Your on the right tracks to a happy relationship as you are not entirely interested in having sex, what more can a girl ask for, there are not many guys of your age that just want to make someone else happy and shower them with love and care. Start believing in yourself, dont mope about it - just go for it, you will be fine.

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