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female
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anonymous
writes: i have kind of a weird question....and im looking for peoples opinion on it.i have a boyfriend who i am in a long distance relationship with.we have been together for almost 6 months,but it has only been internet/phone based so far.he is coming here for the first time in a few days.we have come to the agreement of no sex this first time,since even though we have been together awhile it may be a little nervous metting the first time,and he can only stay four hours or so anyways becuz of work.it is a three and a half hour drive from where he is.my question is....(and i know this will sound weird) i have stretch marks and a little flap of belly skin leftover from having two children via c section.this is something that i constantly worry about,that it will gross him out or something....i know it grosses me out lol but ive never told him becuz....well im not sure how you come out and say to somebody "hey i have stretch marks,will you still love me?" lol its makes me extremely self concious,even though im otherwise in good shape. we have agreed to a pg 13 kind of deal when he comes...no sex,but whatever else happens happens kind of thing.we are very much in love,but i cant help to be scared of his reaction becuz of these nasty marks on my belly.but some opinions please......do you think that if he is willing to make a three and a half hour drive just to be with me for a few hours,that it probably wouldnt matter to him about these stretch marks anyways? a part of my brain is telling me that it probably wouldnt matter becuz it seems just being with me is more important to him than sex....but my self concious side cant help but bother me i guess :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2006): I would suggest that you pay no attention to your stretch marks, most women (even the famous ones) have them. like you said, he is travelling for 3 hours just to see you and clearly respects you to agree there will be no sex. Instead of focusing on something which causes you pain, try to focus on your attributes. Maybe even the qualities he has pointed out he finds attractive in you. He doesn't sound like a shallow individual, and if he was only interested in having sex with you, surely he would have cut the relationship off ny now, not waited six months knowing he won't be able to sleep with you when you meet.
I say be confident with who you are as a person, because this is more attractive than anything else.
Sounds like you've found a decent man here.
Good luck and ENJOY.
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