A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been with my partner for 2 years. Neither of us earn a lot. I live within my means, so does he, but sometimes things happen that you didn’t budget for. I always try to help him out financially if necessary. He’ll tell me about the problem and then I’ll ask if he needs me to help out and if he says yes, which he always does, I’ll help if I can. He pays me back when he can, often 3 months later, and sometimes not at all, and I don’t nag him about it. He never offers to help me out though, even if I tell him about the problem – maybe because he can’t afford it most of the time but I know that there have been times when he’s been OK for money but spent it on himself (buying luxuries or going out drinking with his mates or playing golf) when I was struggling with an unexpected expense. He always says he deserves to get or do something nice for himself when he can.. We don’t live together so we are responsible for our own finances, but it would be nice of him to offer if he could, don’t you think, or is that totally unreasonable?
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female
reader, kaykay1989  +, writes (26 March 2011):
 It's not unreasonable at all however you have been the one to offer him that life line. So maybe he doesn't feel obliged to help you even though he said yes to your offer. Just bare this in mind next time he has a money problem don't feel obliged to help him. Piece of advice don't think out moving in together anytime soon. xoxoxo
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