A
male
age
51-59,
*it man
writes:I need a bit of help here, im a 40 year old man and really like a 19 year old girl. A lot of you might think im only interested in her for one thing but im not although the sex would be great, theres more to it than that. How would people feel about a 40 and 19 year old being together? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LiveAnnLearn  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Do you think she's mature enough for you to be in a relationship with and does she like you? If the answer to both is yes, why would you even care about what anyone else thinks about it. There will always be people who disapprove as well as those who approve but all that matters is how you and her feel about it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): If it's okay for this relationship to happen when things are going well, is it still going to be okay if things go bad? Will everyone still view the situation as equal THEN? Or will the same people who defend this relationship right now start blaming the older man for taking advantage of her?
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Having kids the same age as her makes things harder. Say things work out, how would your kids feel having a step mom the same age as them? My guess is creeped out.
Ultimately it is up to you, but factor in the people you may hurt into your decision.
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A
male
reader, fit man +, writes (8 September 2010):
fit man is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe sometimes acks younger than she is but i think this is because she didnt get to do what most kids would because of hr special needs but sometimes she acts alot older
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Like dirtball says it doesn't matter what everyone thinks..you're the one to decide to give it the green light. As long as she is very mature at that age, I was so naive at 19... she's capable of holding and maintaining a serious relationship if that's what you're looking for. Then I would say sure. However, do keep in mind that's she's young and you don't want to hold her back from experiencing the norm things at her age. Be prepared for society to judge you every time you step out that door, and possibly a little from your sons. It's true age is just a number but you also have to focus on her maturity level. Is she on your level?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): I believe that when it comes to love age doesn't matter. I wouldn't be probably saying this a month ago cus that's when I met my boyfriend that 34 years old and I'm 19
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A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Do you think your sons would be ok with it? Would she? I mean, in case you two got really serious...?
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A
male
reader, fit man +, writes (7 September 2010):
fit man is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni also have 2 sons they are 17 and 18
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A
male
reader, fit man +, writes (7 September 2010):
fit man is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe has never asked for money she has special needs but enjoys doing the things any girl her age would do so i dont think this would affect her making dicisions
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A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (7 September 2010):
Um...people in general would not like it. I got stared at like mad when I went on one date w/ a forty year old man (I was 18). We laughed about it but still...we're friends now because as I got to know him, I didn't think we could make a romantic relationship work. We're too different. I'm artsy and he's all fact/figures. I'm now dating a 33yr old and we make it work because we find things we have a common, we communicate well, and we share a sense of humor. You really have to know her as a friend first and think about whether you can handle what may come: dissaproval, judgement, and (if she has them) her need to party, travel, and feel young and beautiful. Think ahead. Someday, she might want children. Do you? Do you have them already? How will they react to her? Have patience with her and if you care for her, hold back on the sex and get to know her. Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (7 September 2010):
Ultimately it doesn't matter how other people feel, you need to ask yourself how you'll feel.
I wonder what you'd have in common with a woman less than half your age. I know that at 30 I feel like I have very little in common with girls who are 18 or 19 when I talk to them. But hey, that's me.
Expect people to think you're her dad a lot. After all, you're more than old enough to be. Also, I wouldn't expect her parents to jump for joy about your relationship either.
All that said, other people's hang ups are their own to deal with. If you like her, and you feel it is for the right reasons, then go for it. I'd suggest you not rush the sexual relationship because you run the risk of making her feel manipulated and taken advantage of. Even if she wants to, make sure you like her enough to be in a proper relationship first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): How does she feel about you?If she likes you too then maybe there isnt a problem.Do you intend it to be a long-term relationship?Coz i dont know if you can keep up with someone half your age for long...Im 19 as well and i have a sugar-daddy,he's 55 but im with him for the money.He's old,fat,has a big tummy,he snores.He's disgusting but loaded.However,if she has feelings for you maybe it can work.
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