A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts, i'm really worried about my and my girlfriend's sex life every since she gave birth in october, nothing has happened since then, i know it must take a lot to get over giving birth but i know any longer and i'll just go and cheat on her. We're both 23, and had a WILD sex life before and during the pregnancy. She also has a daughter from a relationship when she was just 16, it's not like i can ask the child's dad if the reason they spilt up was no sex can i? I love her so much and our children to pieces but i can't live without sex. Any idea's to help get her back in the mood?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): You talk of love and cheating in the same paragraph - I think you have the two things confused. I would like to see how many men feel like sex really soon after what pain effectively (as someone else described to me regarding birth) is like crapping a melon. Why not try a little respect for the woman who carried a child for you both and then gave birth - her body has been through a great deal. You have your 'needs' but I'm afraid to say you will have to wait. My friend was cheated on 8 weeks after she gave birth. I have never seen a woman crumble so quick - she was totally and utterly destroyed. If you want to destroy the woman you apparently love then go right ahead - cheat. For goodness sake grow up and put your wife first for once. Have you ever asked yourself what type of woman would want you anyway.... father of two, wife cheater. A real good quality woman from the local club yeah? Oh please.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): You've just had a baby with her and because she's not in the mood you've decided to "just go cheat on her". What a delight you are.
Give the woman some time to recover from the trauma her body has been through. Stop being so selfish. Help out with the kids and allow her some time to pamper herself and feel sexy again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): Please do not mention the word cheat! She has gone through quite a traumatic time, giving birth is a lot harder than some people think, i know, three kids later. It can also be a very under whelming time. The beautiful baby you have and longed for sudden can become a silent demon. Not everyone feels this way but i felt trapped, especially the second time around. If you want to even just have a couple of hours to yourself, then so much has to be arranged. I can understand just how she feels. You may be able to relax but i bet her head just wont switch off and how can you feel and get all sexy with your bloke when your head is somewhere else. Please be patient, give her love and attention and do help with all the little chores (that actually mount up and can be massive). Do the ironing while she has a soak in a bubble bath. May arrange for someone to watch the kids and you two go to the cinema then out for a meal or just a drink. If money is tight, farm the kids out for the night to grandparent, you cook a meal and lavish her. But never ever criticise, she is doing a fantastic and underrated job.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 January 2008):
 You can help her with the house chores and baby sitting and she will not feel so tired or stressed out for sex.
You should praise her more and do not criticize her.
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