A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need some tips on being a more positive person?Esp after a life of mostly not being accepted, as am quieter, and being alone, and Im the nice person, being the person usually trying to be friendly and interested in others but... others are not interested in me.. beyond hi and bye and dont want my support as they have their own better friends, im just the 'cofFee or lunch friend' they see every 2-4 mnthsThese days many people are sooo self absorbed and dont give a cr*p about others problems, or that others are in pain, like them.. too. Am usually trying to be supportive of others/the tiny amount of friends I have when I do see them, which is are as they have tbeir own busy lives, am not complaining to them, but not really positive either. its not always easy to be postive and not be negative and "poor me" !! how to "think" before speaking and be the person others look forward to seeing? the person that ppl say Im looking forward to seeing...." yes yes... We all get negative and fed up, but noone wants to hear about that.. Genuine, helpful answers appreciated.Am not looking for hate or nasty unkind comments I am a normal person as Ok as you, I work and I live me life, I dont need hate plse, I have had enough judgement in my life.thankyou Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): Hi there!
To be honest with you thinking in a positive or negative manner is a matter of choice.
If you always think that things will go bad then it will happen. Same thing if you think positive.
Like for myself, I am a very positive person in every aspect of my life except for one. Because it was my choice.
BTW, no one has the right to judge you at all, people from here might have different opinions, sometimes hurtful, sometimes wonderful. But those are just opinions, You may take or throw away afterwards. Never take it personally. We are all here to help you.
I do believe that what We all need to learn, is to value and love our self first before expecting others to like or to love us. I am also a quiet person myself. I don't mingle that much. I can count the number of times I initiated talking to someone, very rare.
But I have a split personality. I am professional when it comes to my work. I was able to host events like fashion shows, music shows in the past.
So could you imagine that? how could a loner could be so witty and confident in front of the stage? i was able to because i learned to value and to love myself.
Maybe you should focus on things where your good at first, then once you honed that skill it will give you confidence, before you know it people will talk to you about it.
They will start to have interests in you, because of that skill that your good at.
After that, you may also develop true friendship with them. Every relationship starts from scratch. From a very shallow reason beginning. Then it just develop into something deeper in time.
I wish you Good Luck! Pray Too, God Loves you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): Well, first of all i think you should try to relax a bit. 1/3 of your question is about not getting negative answers, we are here to help you, not judge you. i'm new here but all the amazing Aunts i see around are just trying to help even if they have to "scold" someone a bit.Now, about your problem, i think you should try to believe in yourself more. Every person out there is unique and special and you are too. You are also kind (you try to help your friends). I know how cliche this sounds but just be yourself!I mean, complaining sometimes can make you and another person get closer and bet to know each other better (i don't mean nagging about everything and always). If a person knows you trust them enough to open your heart to them and appreciate them enough to care about their opinion on something that bothers you, there are strong chances they will trust you with something in return and appreciate you, this is bonding. and through bonding a "lunch friend" you enjoy seeing can become a life-long friend. Show others you are open to be real friends, and when they realise how great you are, you are gonna have great friends and lots of fun in no time ^^
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