A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing a guy for about two months now. The first three weeks were smooth sailing, but ever since then our relationship has been rocky. We only get to see each other once a week, usually on the weekend, and problems arise because when we're not together we both start to doubt the relationship. He says he's constantly worried I'll find someone else, and I feel like when we're not together we have an "out of sight, out of mind" thing going on. When we do get together on the weekend, though, everything is perfect. Love at its best. Then the work week starts, and the problems start again too.The first three weeks we were together we were able to spend much more time together; we'd see each other a few times a week. Is it possible that our busy schedules are what's causing our weekly issues? Or is it us?I always thought that in the early phases of a relationship, a couple is supposed to try to spend a lot of time together. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (23 October 2011):
 You two should really sit down and have a good heart to heart talk about your feelings and what you want out of the relationship. I think it would be good to maybe set some boundaries as to what you both feel is appropriate behaviour. He's worried because he's insecure. You need to keep up the contact during the week. Call each other, text, skype, whatever you can to keep things going and for your partner to know you're thinking of them.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 October 2011):
 Is it possible that our busy schedules are what's causing our weekly issues ?... Pardon me, Op, but if you don't know it, how are we supposed to know it. YOU know your schedule and your bf's, how full it is, how many things are real priorities ,and how many could be easily canceled or postponed, we don't.
There is no one size fits all, - for many couples getting together on weekends, or even every two weekends, it's the very best they can do without ending up overwhelmed and stressed out, for others meeting up twice a month would be ridicolously little. It depends.
If you, say, live in a big city ( so, factor in transportation/ commuting time ) and have a full time job, and go to some course or school, and / or have kids/pets/ family members to take care of, and / or belong to some group or organization you have duties in, and/ or etc.etc. etc.- then HAVING necessarily to cram in, during the week time to see or text or call your SO may feel more like a stress than a pleasure, so maybe it's wiser giving up the efforts and enjoy the weekend together unstressed and relaxed.
If you are unemployed , or you work part time, or anyway at 5 pm you call it a day and have absolutely nothing to do but sit on your sofa and pet the cat , - then yes, some more effort would be expectable , if there 's mutual interest in each other's company. But, even so :
Do you live alone or with family ? How far apart ? Do you have errands around or house chores to do, how often ? Have you got many or few friends, how social you are, how important is in your life to see friends ? How much sleep do you need ?How much sex do you need ?
The list of variables is never ending, so, based on that , you are probably the best suited to answer your own question.
...............................
|
