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male
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anonymous
writes: hi there. i recently split up with my girlfriend of 4 years (her choice). i have been quite upset as you would. im slowly getting myself back together with the help of friends and family. been out clubing afew times and i have no intrest in females whot so ever, was talking to afew girls but there was nothing inside me surching for more, like before i got with my girlfriend i would have at least asked for their number or something. i know im not yet over my ex but just wanted to ask from previous experiences how long it might take to be intrested in trying to find a new partner?? i will be greatfull of any advice...thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your advice it all helps alot because as this was my first serious relationship i was not sure whot to expect and had my douts wether i had messed my only chance of happyness up... sure hope i havent!!
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (18 January 2006):
 This is a hard question to answer genrally because each individual has their own pace and thus will take their own amount of time. On the plus side you are going out and having a good time. This is a good sign and you havent bounced off into a one-nite stand or straight into another relationship which is also good for the healing process.
You should give yourself time and space to heal and not force yourself to go too fast. Four years is a long time to be in a relationship and there were obviously alot of emotions involved. Don't force yourself. Go at a pace that is comfortable to you. One thing is for sure, that wanting something more will come back when you are ready for something more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006): I dated a guy for two years, then broke up with him (my choice). Even though he wasn't the guy for me, I'd really loved him. It was 9 or 10 months before I really felt interested in dating again. I had a few dates in between, but only because I felt obligated. It was definitely almost a year before I felt like myself again.Hang in there. Break-ups are awful, particularly when they're not your choice. Give it time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006): it will depend but dont be afraid to go out and have fun with friends and meet new people even be friends with new girls....when the time is right you feel it but allow yourself the time to fully get over your ex so you dont have a rebound relationship...but it can take anywhere from a month to 6 months before you feel whole enough to even start coinsidering a new relationship....hope this helps a little
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