A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been divorced for about 2 years, and been on a few dates. The longest I have seen someone was about a month. I meet a girl at work (she asked me out) and we have been talking all week for hours till 1 or 2 in the morning. The weird thing is I have started to have strong feelings for her and I have only seen her once. I know what love feels like (I was married for almost 8 years) and this is starting to feel more and more like it. This is honestly starting to scare me. How is it possible to start falling so quickly? I dont know what to do and the anxiety is killing me. I am playing it cool but it is takeing all the strengh out of me. I dont want to scare her away. We have our first date tomorrow but it feels like I have known her forever. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, koojoe  +, writes (14 May 2010):
hello,
well, i can tell you a little about my experience with a man i adore who, when we met, was is a similar position to you. he was 1 year separated (now divorced), we met in December, talked on the phone a lot before meeting for a date in January. we fell for one another quite quickly - we just clicked, had lots in common and fancied one another.
think because i am a happy single woman who is comfortable being by myself, wanting to find a good man to have relationship with but not desperately scrapping around to find one, i felt free to go with my feelings and go for it! we had a very happy couple of months and i was very understanding of his terrible situation of divorce, feeling sad about failing his marriage and trying to see as much of his young child as possible.
back in may, he began to cancel plans we had made, albeit loosely, and pull away a bit. so, i let him be...didn;t call him etc. he called me after 2 days saying he missed me, missed hearing my voice and lets arrange to meet up. we did, and same again - it didn't happen. so i called it quits because i don't appreciate having my time messed with and i wasn't understanding the mixed signals.
lately, we have talked and he has revealed that he thinks we went into this too soon, that he has fallen deeper and faster for me than expected and that this scares him. i have NO idea what to do or say to ease this fear.
so, my advice to you is let yourself feel excited about this date. ENJOY it and try not to think too far into the future. enjoy the moment and see what blooms from it. take things slow, real slow. i'm not saying you should not trust your feelings right now but be sure to sort instinct from impulse.
have fun, be as you are and come back and tell us how it went :)
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