A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was talking to a male friend of mine and he said that he doesn't want to fall in love right now, he wants a rebound first. What constitutes a rebound and is that necessary in order to get over someone who broke your heart? Might this be the reason why I am still hung up on my ex with whom I broke up 3 years ago, even though I have met and gone out with over a dozen men since then. Do you need to sleep with someone or let yourself fall in love again to have a rebound or how is it defined?Thank you all so much!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 It is a tough question, it means different things to different people. I recently had a 'rebound' so I will tell you what I think I had:
I met a guy on a night out and went back to his place (I did have a bit too much to drink!) but nothing happened sexually. We just kissed and went to sleep. Then we met up a couple of times going on dates, but it was very casual. Then fairly quickly we realised there was a strong sexual chemistry between us so it progressed further and we had sex. A lot! We realised that we had a lot in common and did get on well, but he was too old for me, I wasnt quite at the right stage in life for him etc so we werent compatible for a relationship, but the sex was great. We then parted ways (I guess this all happened over the space of about 3 or 4 weeks) but it didnt end on bad terms, the sex was amazing and it was exactly what I needed after my ex who wouldnt ever have sex with me. My rebound guy brought me back to life so to speak - gave me confidence, made me feel sexy again, and brought me back out of my shell.
I personally believe a rebound is based on sex and casual dates - no feelings involved as such. With my rebound I did like him and I would say there were a few feelings there, but I think they were more because he was the first guy I had been with for years after my ex and looking back now, he definitely wasnt suitable but he was good for sex and a bit of company. Maybe that is the best way to define it, sex and a bit of company from the opposite sex!
One thing for certain though - you definitely dont NEED to have a rebound to get over someone. Everyone is different and gets over their ex's in different ways, so while a rebound worked for me it might not work for you. I guess its just up to you whether you think it is worth a try or not.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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