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How do I tell my boyfriend to be himself and not who he thinks I want him to be?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 May 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 May 2013)
A female Canada age 30-35, *omBarbie writes:

My boyfriend is pretending to be someone he's not... I smoke pot, He knows that and he's fine with it. But after I told him, he never shuts up about "how much pot he smokes", and "how high he is right now". I don't know if he's lying just to seem 'cooler' and show off. It's kind of annoying and I want my old boyfriend back, how do I tell him to be himself and not the he thinks I want him to be?

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A female reader, Tenderlovingcare United Kingdom +, writes (20 May 2013):

Tenderlovingcare agony auntMaybe ignore those comments he says, and comment on the things you like about him that he doesn't make up? For example something you like about his personality that you know is his true self? Maybe he just has a lack of confidence and feels the need to impress you, therefore if he see's that you like him as he is, he may realise he can just be himself. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013):

Just make a joke of it to broach it, like say "Oh really??? That's pretty impressive since you've never touched the stuff in your puff!" - from there you can just gently say that you like him for him, and that pretending to do weed doesn't make him look cool; it just makes him look like a dafty. Hopefully he'll get the message :)

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