A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know why I always feel like my boyfriend is seeing someone else or has some sort of feelings for another woman. He told me he was heading home for the weekend and when I asked if I could join along he said no. He said he needed to spend time with his parents. It bothers me because I hardly know his home life and I've never met his friends that he's grown up with. (We've only known each other through college and we started dating here and don't really have time to visit our home town much) I know everything he does here at school but when he goes home, I have no idea and it makes me uneasy. How can I tell him that it makes me uneasy that I'm not able to go with him and I feel like maybe he's hiding something from me? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): You may be making several assumptions about what his relationship is like with his parents. "How can I tell him that it makes me uneasy that I'm not able to go with him and I feel like maybe he's hiding something from me?" Stick to the first part, and don't share the paranoia part. Then take a chill pill.Look, your obviously concerned about him when you can't know exactly what he's up to, but you're just going to have to trust him. It sounds early on in the relationship, so I won't suggest you go "cold turkey" either. You need to know what he's up to, fine. But to a guy, that can seem overbearing. Try portion control: on break, set up a time to talk to him, like after lunch and before bed, and work in some webcam. If he goes off with friends, just go with it, tell him have fun, and ask him what he did later. Out of INTEREST, not JEALOUSY. As for the parents thing, don't pry. If you want to meet his parents, be cool. Tell him you want to meet his parents some time, and that next time they're at school, you should all get smoothies, or something.So, to review: Instead of "Where are you going and who are you going with?" try "What are you doing today? ... Oh, do I know any of them? .. Ok, have fun .... [Later:] Hey, sexy, how was [activity] with your friends? ... Oh cool, how long have you known [Name].."
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 February 2012):
 How long have you dated? Have he met your parents?
I would talk to him (but not accuse him of having someone else) just ask him if he is embarrassed to date you.
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