A
female
age
30-35,
*ukkthemainstream
writes:Hi, I've been dating my boyfriend for a year in two weeks and we love eachother and have a great sex life and are very happy but, we fight a lot. I get angry when he sits on the computer for hours and ignores me or leaves and comes back 4 hours later when he says he's going to be an hour. It frustrates me to be ignored because I never to those things to him but, I'm not totally innocent. I over react obaut things a lot and say very mean things when I get angry. When we fight we both take it too far and say things we don't mean and sometimes we even get violent. My questions are how do I make him see what's wrong with the thugs he's doing and do I stop overreacting about them? How do I stop the fighting??- Cheyenne
View related questions:
sex life, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): Your definition of "very happy" seems very off to me, as it involves violent verbal and possibly physical fighting. I cannot see my "moderately happy" parents being "moderately happy" if they fight as much as you have portrayed your relationship. I would think my parents would be incompatible with each other and "quite unhappy".
-----
Since the major causes for your violent fighting is you reacting to him and vice versa, one of the 'best' methods in dealing with this is NOT react to each other. To clarify this, basically, walk away from each other, cool off, clear your head with deep breaths AND do not insist in satisfying your ego to win in the fight.
If over time, this method is not working for you, you 'should' consider that your relationship isn't nearly as "very happy" as you try to believe it. The few giggles, hugs and 'looking like a couple' does not equate to a "very happy" relationship, especially when it is riddled with immature handling of the issues, constant fighting that can escalate into further violence and the inability to openly communicate each others wants and needs.
As I often say: openly communicate, make compromises, make consideration for each other, reassess each others needs and wants.
|
