A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The last while my bf has been putting his hands in my pants and touching me, I want to return the favour but I am abit nervous and don't really know what to do and also since he has been the one making the moves on me does this mean he wants the same back?we re both new to this. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): The advice about taking direction is very good. Just giving him some attention "down there" can be a huge turn on. Be gentle and remember that directions don't mean you're doing anything wrong. The best lovers are the ones who can give and take direction. You need to find out what the other person likes. Trial and error don't always work. Having the comfort level to be able to talk to eachother about such things leads to an intimate relationship that is hard to beat.
Good luck. Go slow, ask him if he likes it (even if it is obvious he does), and don't do anything you are not comfortable doing. You're still young, there is no need to rush.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): Don't worry, what you're feeling is perfectly normal. It took me a while before I was ready to return the favour and my boyfriend understood that it was just because I was nervous. I decided to go for it one day, I started off moving my hand there, and when he got the hint he was more than happy to guide my hand with his until I knew what I was doing. You don't even have to look at it the first time; I didn't, he kept his boxers on, and we kissed a lot. After a while, it becomes second nature and you'll work out exactly what pleases your boyfriend the most. It's definitely a practice makes perfect thing, and you'll improve as you get to know your boyfriend's body better. So don't worry about it and just go with the flow, because there's not a lot that can go wrong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): It's fine to be nervous... we all are at the beginning.It would probably be nice for you to start returning the favour, but as to how, you don't have to worry too much.Start simple, maybe just brushing your palm over his penis through his pants. He'll probably encourage this, and seeing that he enjoys what you're doing will probably give you courage to do more. If you can't bear to look at his penis directly (I know it's ugly at first... I honestly shrieked the first time I saw one. ^^U), you can get your hand in his underwear or keep your eyes closed at first. Kissing while you're doing this is a great excuse not to have to look. ;DStart gentle... men are not quite as delicate as women, but they aren't made of steel either. Don't squeeze or grip too hard if you don't want to hurt him.The best way is to ask him to show you how he likes it by guiding your hand. If he's like almost any other man in the world, he's been doing that to himself for a while, and probably already has a favourite way of touching himself. Copying that will ensure you give him a nice time.Notice the same rule applies for when he's touching you. If you find it too embarrassing to ask him directly, just take his hand and guide his fingers to touch you the way you like it. If you still don't know what you like (which is perfectly normal), you can find out on your own. Get to know your own body and what you enjoy. Masturbation is a great way to love yourself, and it will make things easier for you when it's another person touching you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): I am having this same issue. Because he does everything making all the moves and I'm to nervous to return the favor. But, he hasn't said anything. But, i feel like im being selfish by taking and not returning. It's so nerve racking.
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