A
female
age
41-50,
*liz
writes:I have been finding one of my closest friends incredibly difficult to be around lately, and am not sure how to deal with it.In my own life I have just gone through a stressful period, and now everything is looking up. However, this friend of mine seems to be incredibly negative about everything, and unsympathetic to everyone around her.If I mention a musician that I like, she will make some random negative comment like "well, his mother gave him a stupid name", if I mention that my nephew (who is 3) called me at work - which made my day! - she will decide it is an opportunity for her to denigrate my sister's parenting abilities ("who lets a three year old near the phone?"). I should add she has never met my sister, and I told her I don't have much patience for people who feel like they can insult my family.She has been even more harsh and unfair regarding other people in my life. Another friend was diagnosed with a chronic illness that she manages really well (she has an issue with it maybe once a year). Negator can only make the observation that if she is ill she should not be going to school (even though she makes straight As), holding a job (a job that she loves and is dedicated to), having hobbies, etc etc etc.I have tried asking her what is going on in her life, but she hasn't mentioned anything that is bothering her. She is pretty lucky by all accounts; awesome parents who still pay for her to go on trips with them, a job she was given due to parental connections, never has experienced illness, poverty, or loss in her life, etc etc. In the meantime I have, for my own sanity, avoided spending time with her alone since I'm tired of her insulting anything I talk about, insulting the people I love, and I'm sick of her uninformed opinions on things she has had no real life experience with.I have made sure to include her in group activities, and I do try to talk with her on the phone a few times a week though. She seems confused that she doesn't see as much of me, but hasn't asked me about it, and I'm not really sure how to talk about it with her just yet.Anyone have any suggestions?
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female
reader, Bliz +, writes (31 January 2011):
Bliz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey eveyone,
Yup, thre's no way around it, I just have to tell her she's being a pain in the ass, then find out what's bugging her (again).
PS - On another note, anyone know how questions on Dear Cupid are sorted into "related questions"? If I had to hazard a guess, I would be tempted to say something disparaging about reading comprehension, maturity, or a fundamental misunderstanding of the menstrual cycle... it's a shame since the people who post here usually give excellent advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): tell her she's being a total bitch, and ask her whats wrong.
just talk to her about it, you said you're close, so it can't be that hard.
to make the situation less aggrovated, it might offend her or whatever, ask her why shes being like this, and let her know youre there for her ^^
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A
female
reader, morningstar9691  +, writes (31 January 2011):
Talk to her about it. If she's really your friend she'll listen and understand. Tell her that you can not continue hanging out with her if she keeps up with her negativity. Hope this helped.
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