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How do I let go of resentments toward boyfriend and feel closer?

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Question - (11 February 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, *amurai girl writes:

How do I let go of resentments toward boyfriend and feel closer?

I have been dating a great guy for several months who treats me very well. Everything had been going well until I started focusing more on our incompatibilities instead of the good things about him and our relationship.

It is very clear when I am concerned about something in the relationship or am displeased. He asks me what is wrong and I just tell him I'll deal with it on my own because it's my issue. He tells me to just give him a chance to know what is bothering me so he/we can fix it. But, I just say it's ok and internalize all my negative feelings.

I do this because I feel as if he'd think I was being nit-picky or controlling. Some of the things I like about him are also some of the things I dislike. It's really affecting how I feel about him, around him or even the idea of spending time with him.

I care about him deeply, but my resentment is so built up I'm afraid I'm pushing him away and/or hurting him and our relationship. I don't enjoy being close to him or sometimes even talking to him.

How do I let go, accept him for who/what he is and feel closer to him?

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntfirstly- que sara sara whatever will be will be! if you dont like this guy for who he is then let go. start talking to him about how you feel and let him help! this will bring you closer, you have an emotional wall inbetween you that he is trying to break down, help him break it down...trust him, he sounds like a nice guy.xx

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