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female
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*em_scorpio21
writes: Hi there, How do i learn to trust so my new relationship does not suffer?About the relationship- we were together for 2 1/2 years, we had planned are wedding and trying for a babt, i found out he was gay and it had all been lies. He slept with people behind my back, i started to check up on him and cant break this cycle now im in a new realtionship its destroying it please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): Get some individual counselling. Work out and come to terms and heal from your past relationship. You can do this Sweetie. *hugs*
Focus on the good of your current relationship. Have you shared with your new partner the pain and anguish of your last relationship? He should know.
Go to some couples counselling.
It is hard to trust in another once you have been so wrongly hurt and betrayed. Do know that you should not be putting the wrongs of another on someone else.
Trust and time. Work and commitment. Honesty and communication. Work on these.
Best of wishes.
*hugs*
A
female
reader, anna1 +, writes (9 August 2006):
a counsellor will help a great deal, sometimes we can let emotions like jealousy take over us and its hard to get rid of, not all men are the same, there are some great guys out there, who have been hurt just as much as we have, who totally understand, and wouldnt wish to do that to anyone. Sounds like you have found one of those, so good luck, and I wish you all the best.
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female
reader, DEBS83  +, writes (4 August 2006):
 you will find this very hard your ex must hv really hurt you a lot and its only normal for you to feel like you do and checking up on ure new bf id talk to him tell him how you feel i know its not easy iam in the same boat as you but talking to him will gain trust all the best
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2006): as long as you tell your new b/f your worries then i am sure you can work through it together. not all men are pigs, am sure your new b/f would prove otherwise, try to let go of the past and don't push your new b/f away through your trust issues.
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female
reader, Gem_scorpio21 +, writes (4 August 2006):
Gem_scorpio21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Thanks,
I took a step ahead after posting this and am being referred to a counsellor, I love my new partner very much and really dont want to lose him or punish him for what my ex has done.
I have also said this is a fresh start but know that i have put my new partner through hell the last few months because of my ex... I hate myself for what i do to him, but cant seem to expalin why i do it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2006): Well, it is actually very difficult. There was a breakdown of trust in my own relationship a few years ago when my girlfriend foolishly kissed another guy. The guilt was so great that she had to tell me.That was two years ago and I still have my rare occasions of not being able to trust her.The best advice I would give to you is the fact that you are in a new r/ship, it is time to make a fresh start. This partnet is NOT the old partner.It is difficult to trust anyone after any incident like that, but don't go with what your head is saying.Just Just take every day as it comes and enjoy it. Start to relax about the issue.Hope that helps.
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