A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I met my ex 3 years ago and fell in love with him instantly but we didnt get together until a year later because we both had partners at the time. So when we finally got together I was so happy. It was the first time I had fallen in love and it was very special and a lovely feeling. I wanted to settle down with him and after 6 months I suggested us getting our own place together. He became very distant with me after that and then split with me a few weeks later saying that ' we both want different things' and hes too young to settle down into a heavy relationship.I felt like such a fool and tried so hard to get him back but he didnt want to know which made me look so desperate but I was so in love with him. A few weeks later I heard that he was seeing another girl called Zoe. I knew Zoe and didnt get on with her because she was well known in our town for being a bit of a slapper. She didnt have any girlfriends and she always hung around with big groups of men and they seemed to worship her. I even remember a conversation I had with my ex when were together saying that he thought she was 'perfect girlfriend material'. I then found out that he had been seeing her behind my back. I was so upset for weeks I didnt go out and stopped seeing my friends. Everyday I woke up crying and fell asleep crying. I know that sounds so stupid but I was feeling hurt and jealousy more than I ever had before.Eventually I started to try and get on with life and my friends thought I was over it but I wasnt. Then last week I heard that they had moved into a house together. I was so shocked and upset because they have only been together a couple of months and when I suggested getting a place together he didnt seem interested. His friends also tell me that hes under the thumb with her and does everything she says and hes even asked her to have a baby with him. I see them sometimes around town and the look so happy and wrapped up in each other they dont even notice me. Its torn me apart he was the only boy Ive evr loved and I dont believe I will ever feel that for someone else. I can just see myself settling down with someone I have no feelings for because I dont know how I can fall in love with someone else when I still love him and feel like I will do for a long time. I dont even know why I love him because hes hurt me so much and doesnt even care.I just dont know how to handle these fellings of jealousy and rejetion. People say that it will get better over time but I feel I should be over ir by now and everybody thinks I am so they think its ok to tell me stuff about him and her but really it hurts.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006): Love really does hurt and it can be very painful,i know this because im hurting over a guy at this moment in time but what you have got to remember is that he obviously doesn't love you as much as you love him because he was the one that cheated and he didn't even have the decency to tell you who he was seeing,you had't to hear it from someone else which is heartless of him.Don't waste your tears or love on him because it is a one way thing,he isn't crying or losing any sleep over you so don't give him the satisfaction.I know your hurt and heartbroken but broken hearts do heal and you will learn from your mistakes,i really do know how you feel.you feel as if your world has collasped,your probably constantly checking your phone to see if he has called or text,your friends are probably trying to get you out round town to meet someone else but deep down you don't want to because your so wrapped up over him,i do feel for you but please do yourself a favour and move on.I know it's hard but you need to make him realize that your better than that and that you don't need a love rat like him in your life.Your more than likely hoping that he will come back to you to make a fresh start but from the look of it the chances of that are very slim,he is happy with this Zoe-but believe me it won't be for long,a leopard can't change it's spots if he has cheated on you he will more than likely cheat on her so in a way she has done you a favour,at least now you are shot of him.Even if you two were still together he would cheat on you again and again what sort of loving relationship would that be?If he lved you he would not of cheated on you.What you need to do now is go to town have a haircut,buy some sexy clothes and really pamper yourself,then go out with your girlmates and enjoy being single again-if he sees you out there all confident and back to your old self i guarantee he will start regretting losing you because men do not like it when they see that their exes are moving on,infact they hate it because they realize that they are not on your mind anymore.So please try and put him out of your mind,change your number and delete his,get rid of any photos etc and be confident because you are better than he deserves. x
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