A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I was with this guy for two years, very messy break-up where he was absolutely horrific to me saying such things like we were 'subconciously pretending to have more in common than we had' and that it 'meant nothing'.Anyway he is unrecognisable to the loving and caring man I went out with. We split last April and unfortunately I've had to work with him ever since which has made it difficult to get over it all.It turned out that he cheated on me and lined up my replacement whilst I was still with him - nice guy huh? He's just taken a job within the company which means I don't have to see him - excellent right?Except I have just discovered to my utter devastation and shock that the person he cheated on me with acrually works at the same place with us both too - so now I have to face her every day and cannot believe the betrayal. I feel quite humiliated and so angry.Anyone got any tips about how to get past this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): Hi
Yes it is the Deceit not the actual act that is most devastating. So if you try and think of the fact that this man you once had a love relationship with could deceive you as much as he has , in reality would you want to be with a deceitful cold man like this for life? I would say see him in the truth and be glad that you now have the freedom to be free and happy. He has and will do it to the next one or ones as he is DECIETFUL, and to himself, he has even admitted in an underhand way that subconsciously you had nothing in common, so therefore he knew he was LYING about how he felt with you. Yes he was probably right he has nothing in common with you, be glad you have nothing in common with a deceitful liar! see him for what he is and move n with a smile and be glad your shot of him. Regards the new woman who you have to face, don't feel embarrassed or envious, feel sorry for her because she will one day have the same treatment no doubt. Anger quite natural to feel , but i would turn that anger into something different use it to push you to greater adventures in life that make you feel glad to be free. Do things that you would never normally do that are radical, get a pilots licence, get sailing, anything that is solely for you, and makes you feel good. Anger will just chew you up and spoil your nature, he is not worth it. Don''t do anything to get back at him, just grow and grow as an individual. God Luck, and remember always laugh and smile because you have had a lucky escape in my eyes. Try not to question the betrayal or justify it, accept it and turn the silver kiss into gold as all magicians do! laugh lady laugh and enjoy your new freedom the world is yours, take it.
A
female
reader, Friday  +, writes (24 July 2008):
 Start seeing other people within the place of employment. Go out, get your hair done, do whatever it takes to feel better about yourself physically and flaunt it in his face. It may be time to move on altogether and leave the company. Take a risk, start over, have a new life that is rid of all traces of him and what he did to you. Working there is proof of a failed relationship and chances are it carries over into your job performance. Get out now while you can, take your references and go, or if you're brave enough ask for a raise or promotion. Assume some control and what better way then by making more money then him- upgrade your life sweety, you're better than him and let him know it!
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