A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mother is the worst kind of person: evil, disattached, unkepted, never caring, not understanding, not loving or lovable. I for the past 10 years give or take alittle I been very self concious. From the moment I began to transition into a teen she began to treat me like crap. I am very petitte (5'1, 104 pounds)so I cannot wear oversize close. I do not wear extremely like tights with my lady parts sticking out when ever I wear anything even slighty femine she says things like "are you going to prostitute your self?" Or "what men are you following around" anytype of negativity that makes me as a women. I like to think that we are sexual creatures. I been try to hide my feminity for so long I am now uncomfortable in any sort of social cathering. Even being on the train to school. I will go out of my way not to bring attention to my self because I'm afraid anyone will pass jugedment. I have a very loving boyfriend but I feel that my akward way is pushing him away. I'm afraid to loose him. My best friend just gave birth and I can't go see her because I feel uncomfortable around her other friends and family. Some are nice to me some are not. So I stay away from them all.I think this all comes back to the way my mother makes me feel so uncomfortable like I'm not worth anything I will be turning 20 soon and I feel like I have wasted my time feeling like this. What I want to know do I get over feeling this way
View related questions:
best friend, prostitute Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, jimrich +, writes (19 September 2010):
re: What I want to know do I get over feeling this way.... You absolutely can turn around the crippling messages from you primary role model/mother. It just takes working on undoing her rotten programing/conditioniing and installing new, and better emotional programing/conditioning.Good self esteem/worth is a gift that you give to your self once you realize that you were ROBBED of your inborn, natural and DESERVED good self esteem when you were young and defenseless. You give your self back your high self worth because no one and on thing can give it to you. You have to believe and accept that you are worthy, deserving, lovable and OK and then give your self permission to be and feel that way. Self esteem training simply teaches you to change bad ideas and beliefs back into good ones BUT you have to do the work and CONVINCE your self that these new and better messages are true and you are willing to accept them as who and what you are FROM NOW ON. I wish you luck turning the filth back into gold again. YOU DESERVE IT!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy relationship with her is non existent. She is evil. I hate her. I tried to talk to reason but it never works so I have giving up. I just want to get over the years of mental and emotional abuse from that women.
She doesn't listen in her head everything she says and does is right which isn't true. She made more mistaken then anyone in the world
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): Im glad you came forward with this because you feel a healthy relationship with your mom is important. It is vital, when you are young especially, to maintain and if necessary rebuild these relationships as are parents have a great influence on who we are as people. I think this is evident in your case. I would approach her kindly and peacefully and say "Mom, I love you and I know you love me too and I want to talk about the conflicts in our relationship as I feel they are affecting me greatly." As Dr. Phil as this sounds, it is direct, and I feel, a good initiative to take in this situation. Best to you miss :)
...............................
|
