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female
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anonymous
writes: i have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years it would have been five years next month but lately he has been really different and distant then on one sunday we got into a little fight and i hung up on him but then i called him the next day and he said that he did'nt want to be with me and i begged him and told him please lets just try again but on tuesday he called me and we were talking and i told him i wanted to be with him and he said he wasn't going to change his mind and then i started crying and he said he wasn't going to call me anymore and i never heard from him since he said he does'nt even want to be friends with me because he said the emotions will come back what do i do i can't eat or sleep he is always on my mind and i just want to be with him i want to pick up the phone and call or write him a letter but everybody said to not chase him what do i do i think he is never coming back can ya'll give me some advice for getting him back and not pushing him away? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (9 November 2006):
 When it comes to men and "chasing" men, I have found that they usually keep running! I know exactly how you're feeling and yet you must try to move on. Let him go, there will be someone else wonderful just round the corner. If you chase him he'll run, men like to do the chasing really, an old fashioned view maybe, but still so true even in this day and age, thousands of years of evolution cannot change the biological imprinting that is within men and women, I know we're in an age of "supposed" equality these days etc, but the last 30 years cannot over-rule the last thousand or so. I highly recommend the following book "why men love bitches" - don't judge the book by the cover/title as this book is full of excellent advice! The author is a woman, which was a big surprise to me. Sherry Argov. She knows a hell of a lot about men and I reckon she wrote this book from men's advice. If you read it you will have this weird "I sort of knew this" revelation, it has changed the way I deal with men for the better - have a read, you'll know what I mean. Good luck x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006):
I dont think that he is coming back. He sounds pretty decided.
He may agree to meet you in a month or so to discuss.
In the meantime you need to get some distance. Go volunteer or something and keep busy for a week or 10 days. Help build a Habitat house or something. Long enough that you get past the inital pain. When you are no longer clouded with pain and self-pity your mind will be able to assess the situation more rationally. Right now you are probably focused on undoing this horrible rejection. On the other hand he may have made the right decision for both of you, and perhaps you'll come to that conclusion too when you sort it through.
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