A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex starting dating some girl when we broke up. And now he wants to get back together, not just rush back into things but he says he wants to be by himself and work towards us at the same time. We've already talked about it and agreed that he wouldnt be floating around.Well now it seems like thats what he is doing he said he talked to her and told her he wanted a break-up and she just walked out. (it would be a lot easier if she said ok and took initative herself) but she hasnt done that.So now i feel like he is just floating hes not on one side or the other, idk if he still hangs with her or not but im really trying to not make him feel like its rushed or that im pushing him. I know it takes a little bit of time to break-up because most people just dont break up. He says he doesnt want her holding onto him and hes trying to give her time to where she doesnt get totally heartbroken and let her down easy.Im trying to give it time, but how long am i supposed to wait? Hes already "had the talk" with her but now i feel like that went nowhere and hes still just floating.How do i get him to be firm about it? Should i withdrawal from him a little bit? Or what should i do? He initates mostly all of contact. But hes just the type where he doesnt want anyone to get hurt so hes trying to let her down slowly. I dont want this "slowliness" to go on forever so i do i get him to stand his ground?Thanks a lot!
View related questions:
a break, broke up, get back together, heartbroken Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (6 September 2010):
 If he won't firmly pick you over her, he's playing you. You ought to have cut off contact the first time he dumped you. He thinks if he takes it real slow, he can still date one of you while seeing the other on the side; the longer you put up with this, the more he will believe he can do it.
If you keep letting him drag it out, eventually you will give in in a momen t of weakness. Tell him never to call you again and go find someone who won't play you.
|
