A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 25 year old female who doesn't have any friends and my work colleagues don't really like me, I am just someone who is there. I have never had a boyfriend and I feel awkward around the opposite sex, I have tried to come out of my shell by going on work night outs but whenever a guy touches me I feel awkward and pull away, does anyone have any advice to help me? I was thinking of going to the doctors but I would just feel stupid. I just feel as if I am not normal, I don't know if there are classes you can go to to help with confidence etc around men. I have never had a boyfriend because the opposite sex have never showed an interest until lately, when I was a school boys just ignored me and when I started working the men in the office were all older and married and because I didn't have any friends to go out with, nothing ever happened.
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confidence, gain confidence, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Awiserowl +, writes (5 November 2008):
Why do you pull away? I'm no expert but if you want relationships then you have to put something into it as well as taking.
You will not be foolish if you go to see your GP. They have seen and heard everything there is to hear and see. I expect if you did explain yourself then they would provide you with the appropriate counselling that you obviously need. Don't forget they are not allowed to discuss your problems with anyone without your permission and you will find that it is not so bad once you open up.
I'm getting on a bit now and quite often wish I had asked for help many years ago with certain problems I had. Don't do the same and regret it forever. Life is very short but unfortunately you don't realise that until you suddenly find it has passed you by.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Are you sure they don't like you? Have you thought of the possibility that they think you don't like them? It's easy to give off that message if you are not confident.
Have you tried talking to men online, say joining a dating site and emailing them for a while? This way you may decide even if you don't meet them that it's easier to talk.
Your anxieties are ones which a lot of us have, so don't feel you are alone. Join something, like a class to build your confidence, or just something that interests you, so you're not relying too much on work for a social life.
Good luck. There will be someone out there for you, someone who will wait and get to know you properly instead of thinking they can touch you when you are not ready.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): If someone is showing interest in you then by all means, talk to him, ask him out for coffee, something simple. The more you get to know someone, the more comfortable you'll feel. And believe me, most guys feel the same way you do.
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