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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm married to a man from a different country than myself.I cannot stand his family. They are very controlling and using people, and I don't want to know them. Is there anything wrong with that? I don't believe that just because I married my husband I have to accept them. It's like the saying you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. And I refuse to accept my husband's and to be dragged into their dysfunctional ways. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 June 2016):
 It is wrong if it is causing troubles in your marriage. How does your husband feel? Does he want you to make an effort with them? Does he see problems with them? Also what if you have children in the future? It will be your children's family, and you really cannot make a decision not to let them see there relatives.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (22 June 2016):
 Well.... you "married in".... so you can't casually brush them off and say, "F**k you, I think you're stupid and I don't want anything to do with you"....
"
How does hubby feel about his family?
Good luck..
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (22 June 2016):
 Okay, I'm going to say that you need to respect them and accept that they are his family - the saying "you can pick your friends, but not your family" is correct. You *do* need to accept them because you married him, but you don't need to be dragged into their dysfunction.How are they controlling users?What countries are you both from and where do you live now?OP, if you have children with this man, you will need to let them see their grandparents, cousins, etc. and you need to "let" your husband see his family without you slating them. They will be in your life until they die or you divorce him - unless you have kids with him and then it's back to them dying.My dad's mum is a horrible lady; she constantly insulted my mother and me. As a result, my mother decided to rarely see her, but never say anything negative about my dad seeing her because she's his family. We (me and my brother) also kept seeing her until we were old enough (11 years old) to make our own decision. I chose to stop seeing her because she was always picking at me and saying negative things about my mother to me, but my brother was never treated poorly, so he still visits her occasionally.What you should do is explain to your husband, without nagging him or slating them, that you don't feel comfortable seeing them often - however, you still want him to have contact with them and to see them when he wants to. You're going to have to accept it the way it is, OP, or you've picked the wrong husband.
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