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How do I deal with all these unanswered questions after the break-up?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 June 2010) 0 Answers - (Newest, )
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

It's been 6 months since I split up with my ex-boyfriend who I was with for 2 1/2 years, but, whilst I am more or less over him, I still occasionally have feelings of anger towards him because he never explained what was going on with him. I was having a really rough time at work 3 months before we split up, but I ended up feeling disappointed that he offered me me very little in the way of support over it. I didn't realise it at the time but the last time I would see him was the day before the worst day of my working career. I don't think he appreciated the seriousness of what I was going through (and part of me didn't want to burden him with it all) and he backed off. He would still contact me, but I was left feeling very sad when, a few weeks later, he didn't get me a card or gift for my birthday, although he did remember it as he said 'happy birthday' to me. It was so out of character for him, as he was always very generous. He then kept bailing out of pre-arranged dates, including my birthday. I have to say I gave up at that point. He then started contacting me again asking me what was happening about us and I explained to him that I didn't think there was an 'us' anymore since he hadn't contacted me in a month. He then said he didn't think things were working out, and I asked him why and whether he had found someone else. Little did I know at the time that I would never hear from him again - and he never answered my questions. I wonder if my ex-boyfriend felt neglected whilst I was fighting for my job and looked for love elsewhere. I guess I sometimes find all my unanswered questions hard to deal with. I think my anger stems from the fact that we had a good relationship up to that point, but I feel so let down by him. His lack of support feels like lack of loyalty. He was very enthusiastic about us moving in together and starting a life together, and now all those dreams have been taken away from me. I do appreciate that there are two sides to every story, and maybe I missed something too.

View related questions: at work, my ex, split up

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