A
female
age
36-40,
*aiyuri
writes:help!I'm only 17 and everyone around me are saying I'm growing up way too fast or way too mature. So far I have a nice life: my own house, my own car rouchcharge mustang 07 (my parents bought me), the job im working at is fine. But everything goes downs with me and my boyfriend. We've been going out since October 3rd or last year. Our relationship is not too bad but usually I 'm the one who starts fights, arguements, and throw stuff around and I fell bad. I admit I do have anger issuses and I'm afraid that I might go over the limtits because he such a nice person to me and never does anything to make me mad.I thought about it, How come I wasn't like this with my ex-bf? He was a wanna-be-bad-ass and treated me like dirt but then again I wasn't fighting back and didn't have an anger issue with him. I thought he would be the one and I treated him like he was the one person for me. Later on I finally thought about everything and dump him and the love bug bit me again and I fell in love with the currrent guy I with now.I just need help on how to control my anger towards my boyfriend. And is it true that good girls fall in love with the bad guys?
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female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (20 November 2007):
 hi saiyuri, This is called survival instinct. After being treated poorly by your ex, you have become more in control of yourself, and therefor more dominant. If your boyfriend has a problem with you being dominant, which he probably does, then you need to get some therepy. Anger management may be a good route, though I would suggest couples counciling, go together with your boyfrind and you can work things out between you, he will understand you better and you will learn what your triggers are and how to control them.
I do recommend counceling alot, but that is because there are so many forms and they really do help. So I wish you luck with this and please let us know which route you choose to go down xxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): Your own house and car at the age of 17, you have done very well for yourself and i am really pleased for you. But i do think you may need some sort of counselling to sort your head out, if you are the one to start the arguements and you have a really nice guy. You just need to try to put things into perspective the next time you are about to hit off. Ask yourself if the things you are getting cross about really matter. How much of your life will change if you dont argue. You will feel more tranquil and the world will be a better place. It wont happen overnight but i think once you have had a word with a counsellor and they advise you on how to control that anger, you life will become much more fulfilled. Anger and jealousy are two of the main killer in a relationship.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Charley Coles +, writes (20 November 2007):
Hey. Well arguements can start really easily at silly little things. Explain this to him he may have a reason help. Go to your local gp if it carrys on you may find you have an anger problem.
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