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female
,
anonymous
writes: I want to break-up with my fiance' of almost 1yrand1/2. I am afraid of what he will do considering his past and people that he know's. I cannot take his nasty attitude and dispoisition all the time. I live in the USA/Maryland Please Help.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (29 March 2006):
 Your letter is a little short on detail, so it's hard to tell if you're living together and would therefore have to 'explain' what's going on, or whether you're just dating and could break up with a little more distance between you.
Either way, if you're afraid of his possible reaction, I would suggest that you have a friend or relative with you when you tell him it's over. A brother or your dad would be excellent. Failing that, make sure that there's another person in the room, even if it's only a female friend. If he gets threatening, you'll have an ally and a witness there, and someone to help you.
If you think that you soon-to-be-ex is going to be dangerous, you can leave him a letter saying, in effect, "good bye" and/or you can speak to any of a number of domestic violence counsellors, such as the Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence, http://www.mnadv.org/ 1800-MD HELPS. (You don't have to be married to get help from them.) If you don't want to speak to them just Google "domestic violence Maryland".
The phone counsellors can give you some really good ideas on how to stay safe and get away from your fiance.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Holly1 +, writes (28 March 2006):
It sounds like your worried he may harm you in some way. Do you have anyone you could talk to about how you feel? Or could you just leave him and go somewhere he won't find you? Whatever you do you need to find someone to talk to about how you feel, someone you trust and who will be able to support you. Good Luck!
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