| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I feel doubtful about a relationship when i don't get enough consideration for my needs by the people concerned. And happens quite so many times. People just find themselves busy with their own things when i want their attention for something. How do i find the balance so as to keep it going? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (12 March 2007):
 Generally your question is a little bit non-specific and it's not clear whether the "people" are partners or friends, so for now I'll treat it as both.
What need is it that you have that is not being attended to?
When encountered with a situation like this, have you ever talked to your partners/friends about how you experience them not being there for you and not satisfying your needs? What did they say?
If people are always too busy to spend time with you, then maybe you need to consider the situation: Perhaps they aren't good friends/partners? Perhaps they're in a situation where they have precious little time to spare (dying relatives, new baby in the house)? Or perhaps you need more of their time than what they could reasonably provide? Are you always there for them?
In any case: For the time being, until you can find somebody that meets your needs or until such time that you manage to settle the situation with your partner/friends, I think it's clear that you will need to be more self-reliant.
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