A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can you tell when your lover is going off you?We are both in our 40's and dont live together. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): Do either one of you get irritated eaislly being together? Are you becoming more unwilling to share information about your personal life? Are there signs of more and more distance between you? Loss of sexual interest? Ignored emotional needs?
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 You can definitely tell by the amount of time spent together. If this is getting less and less, it is not a good sign. Also, if he assumes you are just going to be available to him whenever he wants, for example: He calls you up that day and wants to come over and you say "yes", it shows you don't have much going on and will wait until he wants to see you. You may feel like you are being taken for granted. If he doesn't talk to you about any future plans (including near future like what you have planned for next weekend) this is also a bad sign.
If everytime he calls and you pick up and are available, yet he just talks to you for a bit but never initiates seeing you or planning to see you- this is not good.
This is what I would look for. If you see any of this happening, I would stop doing the above. I wouldn't always answer my phone. If he wants to do something that day and calls that day to do it, I would tell him I already had plans that day and give him a couple of days the following week you are available. In other words, keep busy: go to the gym, out with friends, and make a schedule for yourself. This may sound silly, but schedule out a couple of weeks even if it includes tv programs you want to watch. Set aside a couple of evening that you are free in your schedule and that is where you will fit him in if he calls. Anything less, Like rearranging everything to see him, will be you allowing yourself to be taken for granted. It's hard to do (especially if you want to see them!) but it works.
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