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female
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anonymous
writes: Please help me. I have a really old friend who I have known since the age of 3. We've been best friends from then up until now, and we are 14 now. When we first moved up to highschool, we drifted apart because she made new friends and so did I, but we still stayed close friends. In the second year of highschool, the friends she had made, the friends I had made, her and I all joined together to form what is now our gang, altogether there is 9 of us. We were all really close, and her and I were the most popular in our gang. Then, this year, she made friends with a first year girl. Ever since then she has just hung around with the first year girl and not bothered with our gang anymore. I know that I am still in the gang and she is the one who has least friends in the long run, but she's happy and our gang really miss her and desperately want her back, but whenever we try to talk to her about it, she ignores us. Please don't tell me that when this friendship with the first year finish's, she'll come back to us, she won't. Her and the first year are really, really, really good mates. We can't talk to her about it because she is an extremely spoilt child and wants everything her way, we also feel quite sorry for her though, because her parents have just split up and she doesn't see her dad anymore, so we can't really be too hard on her, can we? I don't see anyway around this problem, I'm begging that the agony aunts of DEAR CUPID don't tell me to ditch her as a mate, we've been friends too long, and it would be impossible for me to leave her now, our gang isn't the same anymore. XXX
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (13 January 2006):
 Have you thought about inviting her and her new friend back? She may be avoiding the topic of your "gang" because she feeld her new friend will not be accepted. If she is going through all of these problems, she may just need time to sort through it all, often during times of extreme difficulties people may feel that it is easier to confide in one person (maybe one that has been through it) than to 9 people. I don't feel like ditching the friendship is the appropriate action, but I do feel that you will be a lot more likely to get her back if you also accept her new friend. Good luck.
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