A
male
age
51-59,
*nglish Man
writes:Life is so strange for me...I am married with kids, and outwardly everything looks great - good job, nice house, loads of friends, a few cars, reasonable social life...A lifestyle others would kill for.But, I've fallen for someone else...and it's a guy.I don't know if the guy feels the same, but I've had a "good" reaction to many questions and responses, but wonder if I'm reading his replies in a way which suits my fantasy.I almost feel I'm obsessed with thinking about him, and what he's doing all the time.So, how can I ask him his feelings, without putting a friendship at risk, if he has similar feelings to my own? Reply to this Question
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reader, English Man +, writes (12 October 2008):
English Man is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the two replies...Well, I've not spoken to my wife yet, but it's only a matter of time now.I know she'll be devastated, but I will have to support her the best I can. She's always been such a good wife to me.Regarding this other bloke...well, it seems he was misleading me. He came on to me, and I didn't react...at first. But as soon as I made it obvious that there could be something "available", he backed off pretty sharpish and now I actually feel both dumped and betrayed.I imagine you'll probably think I deserve all I got. Perhaps you're right. It's certainly not made me feel good...in fact there might only be one way out for me now...and that's not a nice thought.Anyway, thanks to the two of you who took the trouble to reply to the original question.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): you have obviously been in denial your whole life,and you feel its time to come out,do yourself a favour mate and come clean to your wife and children them are the ones who are going to be seriously hurt and scarred for life
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A
female
reader, AskSusie  +, writes (6 September 2008):
Hello English Man,
I really think you are asking the wrong question and focusing on the wrong situation at hand. You asked 'So how can I ask him his feelings, without putting a friendship at risk...'
What about putting your relationship at your risk? Your marriage and your children? It doesn't matter if you fall for a guy or a girl, you seem to be treating the little matter of 'infedility' with a grain of salt.
Before you question if this guy is interested in you, you MUST do something about your relationship - either tell your wife you are thinking of cheating and work on your marriage, or leave BEFORE you cheat.
What about that huh? What about being honest? Be honest to yourself, be honest to your wife, before you drag a third person into your life in a dishonest way!
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