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female
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anonymous
writes: Im 13, I have my first real boyfreind now, I wanna be normal, and give him hugs and hold his hand. I dont know how I should though, I was waiting for him to. Hes said little things over the phone about how his freinds say we dont act like a couple and how we should hold hands. Hes always afraid in person to I guess. How can I solve this problem? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Things are definatly better now. Actually now hes a little bit to "touchy" but thats okay it doesnt bother me & its nothing I cant take care of, & he is only 9 months older then me.
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female
reader, pinklady +, writes (15 May 2006):
 First things first, it would be helpful to know how old your b/f is? If he is around the same age as you, it is perfectly normal for him to behave this way. This doesn't make it right, but understandable. He is probably shy about showing his feelings, when with his friends, because this is a difficult thing for a boy to do. He doesn't want his friends to see his 'soft' side. I would worry more if he was like this all the time. If he is affectionate in private, then I don't think you should worry about what any friends are saying, only worry if it concerns you.
I think the worst thing you could do, would be to get upset with him, this will push him even further away, but if it were me, i would just casually mention that it would make you really happy if he were to hold your hand and hug you sometimes while you were out. Boys do want to make their g/f's happy, and if he feels he is not making you happy, there is a risk he will dump you. I think he is finding this hand holding/hugging stuff quite difficult, so when he hugs you, or holds your hand, tell him how much you like it, but try not to pressure him too much. Let him take your hand, or hug you, instead of you making the first move. Let me know how you get on.
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