A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my lover have been steady and happy for almost a year, but there is a problem. I love what he does to me, but I can't tell him when I want to, or what i want him to do to me. I kinda just hint my way through it, but more often then not, by no fault of his own, he doesn't get the message. I know he loves doing stuff to me, i just dont feel comfortable asking him to. I love him dearly, trust him completely, our relationahips is perfect, it's just that communication stops at the door to the bedroom! Any hints on ho to help me open up? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (8 October 2007):
 This particular communciation is crucial to any relationship, and it's the most ignored. So I'm glad that you want to work on it!
First, tell him exactly what you've told us, away from the bedroom. Then, after you've told him that you want to work with him on this because you love him and trust him, then tell him what you want him to do (again before you get into the bedroom) and give him permission (or a directive, lol) to ask "is this what you meant?" as he's working on you.
Be specific about what you want him to do, and ask him to be specific about what he wants you to do. (Being able to "talk dirty" before you get to the bedroom is good practice.)
Also, learn to not take yourself so seriously. Both of you are learning about what the other wants/needs. Be willing to laugh at yourselves -- laughter in the bedroom is a GREAT thing. And NEVER expect your partner to read your mind, or you're not going to get what you want.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnonymous Author is laughing her head off.
thanks baby duck!!!
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