A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing someone for 4 years, we have had our problems and split up more than once, after a recent rekindling of our relationship, we discussed where we went wrong. there is a lot of love in our relationship, but we often end up fighting.We discussed the fact that he is quite closed and often shuts me out which he is working on well, and has increasingly involved me more in his life, and opened up which has helped our relationship two fold, but when we talked i realised i often do too much, i am like this generally in life, i always want to help, and i generally do end up doing too much, he described it as me giving no chase what so ever, and every time he clicks his fingers i come running, which is very true.he said its not good for either of us because he comes to expect everything on a plate, and I get really upset when he rejects my help, or doesnt see me. I Dont want to be needy, when I have been single i am more than capable of being a strong and independent person, and i dont want to be walked all over, or muck our relationship up again, how can i make sure i keep things on an even keel
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): Communication. Read "men are from mars women are from venus" by John Grey. Hopefully this will describe how your behaviour is perceived by your partner. The way you are behaving is leaving you wide open to abuse, and you need to become much stronger before you can have a healthy, equal relationship.
Develop outside interests and hobbies. Spend more time with other people. Develop and keep developing your self esteeme, so you feel strong with or without a partner.
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html
Check yourself every time your find yourself interferring in his business. Do you want to be his mother or his lover. Only a mother (or a slave) waits on a man hand and foot. Do not spoil him, if you want a man, then give him respect and demand that he dose the things that a man is capable of doing. With this extra time you now have, you can now find something else to do with your time, like taking care of the issues you've been avoiding in life.
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