A
female
age
41-50,
*cared to love
writes:I have been in a relationship for several years with this guy. We have a home and a child together. We talk often of marriage, but I am apprehensive because I have a trust issue. Years ago we had a rough patch I suspected he cheated on me( kinda broke into his cell phone mailbox) so I did my thing. Well he couldn't handle that but we have gotten over this. Anyway just from the men in my family and male friends that I have makes it difficult for me to trust ANY man. I don't know what to do. I love him and he loves me but I don't know how to make myself trust him. I beleive even if I was to be with another man, just because he's a man I wouldn't trust him. I feel that this is a big issue. HELP!!!
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female
reader, scared to love +, writes (20 September 2008):
scared to love is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response calico. You know I always try to trust my gut, but I think most of the time it is my insecurities that get the best of me and I get paranoid and start disbeliving anything he has said. Years after my mom passed, my own father lied to me about a woman so I just have it stuck in my head that if my own dad can lie to me about a female, why would a guy or any guy tell me the truth. I know one bad apple spoils the bunch...but there have so many bad apples around me in friends relationships..that I just take it to heart. I guess when I give my all I give 100% and expect that in return. He has always had my back 100%+ but he is a man and I have a hard time trutsting....you know maybe this is just my wall so that I don't get hurt again. But I feel like I am hurting myself and driving myself crazy doing this.
A
female
reader, calico +, writes (15 September 2008):
 I understand how you feel. I hate to ask this but, has anything ever happend to you besides what you have mentioned? I ask this because I have the same problem in trusting ANY guy.To me, I see them all as betrayers, and I have been hurt one too many times by them. I am with a guy, I've known him for 7 years and we have a baby now. He too has hurt me in ways that I lost alot of my trust for him. It has ruined alot of our relationship and future hopes and dreams. All I can say is do what is right for you!!! ALWAYS trust your gut feeling.
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