A
female
age
51-59,
*nunion
writes:How can I inspire my husband to be more physically and verbally affectionate with me? He thinks he is very affectionate by giving like three hugs a day... which is real nice, but I need more! He probably thinks I am too aggressive and just want to attack him physically!!! The truth is, I love him and would love for him to be more affectionate... like I know men think compartmentally, so I can totally tell the difference between a kiss when I am all that is on his mind from a kiss when he's thinking about what else he has on his agenda. I just want to be on his mind more!!!! if ya know what I mean. Any pointers??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, inunion +, writes (2 June 2009):
inunion is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, everyone... I will indeed express to Husband, without emotion, asking what HIS needs are, and share my needs in this department. I am so glad I asked!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): I have had this problem with my husband. I am now seperating from him. He does the same thing, a kiss goodbye in the morning and thats because I ask for it. I cannot live that way. And he says its not humanly possible to give me what I need ( another kiss when he gets home and maybe a hug or such while I'm making dinner, yeah real hard!)
Sooo as much as I hurt. I've told him a million times and he won't even try to change.
I'm leaving him.
I hope it doesn't come to this with you. This process is the most hurtful and although he's not the man I married to see him sad and crying (we have two kids we now have to share) hurts me. But i'm trying to stay true to my feelings
good luck. VOCALIZE what you need, want.
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A
female
reader, Ormondiz  +, writes (2 June 2009):
This may be confronting - get over it. How about you tell him what your needs are.. truly... be totallly honest - you have indicated that you "think"... well find out ! TELL HIM what you NEED... BUT FIRST ... ASK HIM what he needs from you... you may be surprised to find out that he is giving you what HE NEEDS.. not realising that it doesnt line up with what YOU need... simple heh !!
PS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THIS CONCEPT CALLED COMMUNICATION........ KEEP EMOTION OUT OF IT - keep it plain and simple - if emotion rises in you during the conversation, LEAVE THE ROOM ... come back to it later - NEEDS whether emotional, or physical have to be discussed as if you were talking about the weather - they are a fact - a perception - keep them on that level and you will be successful wont you.
PS Just saved you a bizziillion $$ in councelling - all I ask is that you do one thing... the next time you pass on thia informatin to your friends, or use it... you reply in kind by doing something kind for a stranger. You will suceed !
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