A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can i get over my anxiety ?. I am unemployed at the moment, and i enquire about, and apply for , jobs and college courses, e.t.c, but sometimes, when i have been offered interviews , i have been too scared to go and haven't gone to them. And i have only been offered a few interviews recently. It really gets me down, as i want to have the chance to have a good life, but i just wish i didn't get so scared of going for it. I am shy, and i used to get bullied a lot at school and college. I was also born three months premature, so i'm not sure if my anxiety has something to do with my premature birth ?. I've even had offers to work abroad, and been offered a few interviews in London, which is far from where i live, as i live in the north of England, but i get scared about going of far away from home, even though i think it would be a great opportunity. I still live at home with my parents too. I always have. What should i do ?.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): maybe you should try and gradually get out of the house. Like, go do something that makes you only a little bit anxious.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): I am sorry to hear you were bullied. I know this is going to sound harsh, but the first thing I will tell you is not to pity yourself and not dwell on that experience.
I know that is easier said than done and this is why many people get counselling for bullying. It is the past experience of bullying that is causing the anxiety which is holding you back in life.
Tell youself that these bullies took enough of your confidence and why should they hold you back in life?! You have every right to live a happy and fulfilled life and you should.
This bullying is your past and if you cannot get over it I would advise you to talk about it with a counselling service before you apply for anymore jobs or college courses. You need to get yourself in the right frame of mind to succeed in a job or college course.
I know people dislike talking their problems over with a stranger, but if it changes your mind set into a more positive one wouldn't it be worth it?
I am quite sure that with the bullying issues sorted out you would see an improvement with your anxiety also. You have to start at the root of the problem to cure the problem and bullying is a very traumatic experience, so don't feel like its not a big enough deal for confiding in a counselling service because it most definitely is.
After doing this you would see an improvement in your outlook and this would give you more confidence to apply for the jobs/courses you want to do and attend the interviews with confidence.
Im sure you have all the requirements and ability needed to do those jobs/courses, otherwise you wouldn't have applied for them, right?
You just need to believe in yourself, that you are capable of succeeding in life and whatever horrible experiences you had in the past have made you a stronger person, but they are your past. Only you don't see it yet because your outlook is negetive,but with help that can change.
In the back of your mind you still fear that if you leave your comfort zone ie your parents house and move to another town and change your routine, that you could be bullied again because you will be vulnerable. Thats whats holding you back.
I hope you do seek help, because it is not an easy issue to overcome and I wish you all the best in whatever job/course you do.
Good Luck.x
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Hello. Well i have severe social anxcity which is real pain. I don't think that your anxcity has anything to do with being born premauture, it is most likely to do with the bullying you expireneced at school. I got my anxcity from being rejected so many times, having all my friends pretty much just leave me, and just having an extreamly hard time in highschool.
Im sorry to say that there is no magic cure to get rid of anxcity it is something that you must get over your self. Always try to think postively when you get an interview or job opportunity, don't think about all the bad things that could happen. Because if you think about all the negative stuff first you will worry about if it will happen all day and most likely it won't.
When you get an interview just think to yourself "i have to do this" i know its really really really hard but just try to ignore the nerves and go straight into it. Try and build up your confidence bit by bit maybe write down a list of steps that you could do every week which you will think will help you become more confident.
The only thing i can advice you do is try and find it (even if it seems impossible right now) in yourself to get over these nerves and just go for it. When an opportunity comes round the corner grab it as there may not be another one like it.
If it gets extreamly bad maybe look into councillering or speak to you doctor about it, there is medication you can be put on, but even with the medication you have to do most of it yourself and you cannot become dependent on it.
Good luck and hope this helps x
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