A
male
age
30-35,
*ont get ne
writes:my screen name says it all! help ne one with advice been with gf for 12yrs have a 3yr. son i get close she gets pissed ne advice on how to approach her she tells me when she ready to have sex we will which of coarse i cant make her have sex with me at one time we went without having sex for 7 mths. so ne one with advice plz help what should i do ty Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (3 February 2009):
 I may have seemed harsh but people who do not speak English naively, which there are a lot of on this site, often can have a difficult time understanding abbreviations and text speak. I was not meaning to be judgmental in any way, merely sharing an honest piece of advice that can help him in the long run.
It's just good manners to write in a proper way. Plus, it's a good habit to be into. You don't want to end up accidentally writing in text speak for a term paper in college, do you?!
A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (2 February 2009):
 I think satin desire was a bit harsh about ur grammer, i write like that a lot of the time!!!!! Ur gf is prob just feelin unsexy and stressed and you need to prove to her that you love her and she is your world, and that you still fancy her... it might be an idea to get someone to babysit for the evening, take her out for a meal or movie or something then go back to your place for a night alone. She may not 'put out' but it will help you reconnect on physical and emotional levels, which is alwyas helpful. Good luck with every thinng.
-x-
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (1 February 2009):
First of all, you should seriously take a look at your spelling and grammar here. There are an awful lot of judgmental people here who won't reply to you simply because they'll find your lacking English skills offensive to their eyes, and some people that are not native English speakers won't be able to understand you at all because of your shorthand text-speak.
If you want a lot of replies, you should try to write in really good, proper English and spell out all your words in full instead of abbreviating so much, so that people can understand you better.
Onto what your question.
There are an awful lot of reasons why women stop wanting sex. She could feel that you have stopped being romantic towards her. She might feel overwhelmed with a 3 year old child to take care of. She could feel unattractive because of a recent weight gain or illness. Without the information of why her sex drive has become so low, I can't honestly tell you what you should do about it.
I can say, however, that men often forget the chase once they have been in a relationship for a while, and tend to get very comfortable. They stop bringing flowers, they stop cuddling, and they stop doing a lot of the things they did to win their girlfriend over in the beginning of the relationship simply because they HAVE her now...a man thinks, "what's the point?"
Is sex good for her? Do you know about her sexual anatomy, are you making sure that she's pleased and you give her a LOT of foreplay, affection and love? Is she having orgasms? Do you know how to stimulate her clitoris properly? Sometimes women stop wanting sex because their boyfriends just suck at it, or they're so sexually selfish they don't care to please HER and just "pop and go".
If you want to put the spark back into the relationship, you should arrange for a babysitter, take your girl out to get her nails done and her hair fixed, treat her to a romantic meal and some nice dancing or romantic shopping for new lingerie or sex toys. Be affectionate, help her around the house more, help her with the baby! Treat her like a princess, and show her that you love her.
Sex isn't the be all end all of a relationship, but good sex is KEY to a healthy and long-lasting relationship. But, as women, we need to feel like we're loved and taken care of to want sex. Don't forget that she's a beautiful sensual woman who deserves the BEST OF EVERYTHING.
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