A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can I get more respect from someone in a casual relationship? It's casual because we live some distance apart and lead quite separate lives, but when we're together it's fun. I have feelings for him but I know he's a commitment-phobe. Or so I thought, until recently I complained that he didn't reply most of the time, and he explained that he was going out with someone so has to be careful but wants to see me, too.Run away you'll say. Yes, except this man has many good attributes and I want him in my life. And I'm not convinced that he is seeing someone and may just have thought that a really clever excuse to keep me keen and at bay at the same time. Is there an alternative? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, citris  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 Great alternative would be a number of things. let him know you're seeing someone else and see how he reacts...play his game. Otherwise, let him know you're not interested in being "the other woman" and walk away. If he respects you, he'll do the right thing and be honest with you. Maybe he will stop seeing the other person(if she exists), maybe he won't. From experience I can tell you if you allow yourself to become involved with someone casually, you can't expect that they'll suddenly look at you and fall into this spell of wanting to commit. Why would they? As they say, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? silly, but usually true.
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