A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys/galsi seriously need some advice!!! me and my boyf have been together for about 4-5 yrs now. He means soo much to me-and we are proper close- and although we can have our lil arguments i see him not only as a boyf but as my best mate!we really want to get engaged this year-so we can marry the next-thing is-his family! my fam are fab-they love him-hes become part of our family. But my boyfs family havnt even met me and they tottally dislike me-they make nasty comments to my boyf (which drives him mad and leads to big arguments in there home). they dont even give me a chance...they reckon hes 'tooo involved' with me-and its crazy cause hes a good guy-he respects and values them but they hate the fact he spends most of his time with me. although we are both grown adults, in our culture we need the blesssing from both parents..his dad seems fine-his mother-dislikes me! ive trieddd to make the effort by makin small gestures such as gifts-but they go uncounted for.im such a strong person-i come from a family who appreciates others and does not judgeeee unless there is a reason-we are such a fun lovin family-and im soo worried that theyre gna some how manipulate him and tell him he cant marry me. its crazy. what shall i do? whats the bestttt wayyy to get them on my side?like all kids know how to play their parents...i kno how to play mine-but my boyf is soo genuinly good to people thattt he hasnt even masterd on howw to get his parents on his side-he jus puts up wid all this rubbish! im quite suprised-cuzzz without being bigheaded-people love me !!! lolplease help-really wouldddd be apprciated!love and god blessvanessa xxxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): If he loves you, and if he is a mature man with strength of character, this should make no difference. His mother dosen't like you, fine, that's her problem not yours. If he loves you his mothers opinion, fathers opinion, second cousins, the opinion of his school friends husband down the road shouldn't matter. He can either be with you, stay alone or marry someone else.
Your behaviour with his family has been exemplary. You have ignored their childish behaviour and been pleasant and polite. Continue to act this way and you will be in a strong position when it comes to his mother convincing him that you are no good and he should not marry you. He's her little boy, she dosen't want to loose him, not to you, not to any woman, she dosen't want him to grow up. He has two choices, he can either grow up and become a little man or remain her little boy for ever. This you can do nothing about, it's his choice, and unfortuanately his life.
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