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How can I change the way I feel about relationships?

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Question - (1 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *inyt writes:

I'm 22 years old and in my 2nd relationship. My first partner was abusive and this affected me badly. My new partner is different however he is far from perfect. When I'm seeing someone I find that they occupy my thoughts for most of the day. I've always struggled with handling my emotions and when I go through a break up I find myself unable to cope and often feel very very low, I am unable to think clearly at work and find myself feeling I will be alone forever.

I have recently moved to a new city and have no family and minimal friends, whilst I know things will get better in the long run I find it really hard to cope in the short term. I don't know how to change the way I think about relationships and I dont want to feel like this for the rest of my life.

View related questions: a break, at work

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A female reader, tinyt United Kingdom +, writes (1 August 2010):

tinyt is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I have recently accessed a counseling service which I am hoping will help with the past abuse. I'm trying hard to keep in touch with friends and make new ones which I know will help in the long run. I think the situation I am in now makes me put more pressure on my relationship with my partner for example when I am at home alone and he doesn't call I get very upset. I'm sure though that in the long run it will not always be like this and accessing counseling will help me work through a few things. Thank you for your advice :)

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A male reader, MAX D Ireland +, writes (1 August 2010):

MAX D agony auntFrom what you are saying the relationship with your first partner seams to had an aful and lasting affect on your feelings and thoughts.Abusive relationships are something that is not easly forgotten.Have you beening to talk to anyone about the abuse which you suffered in your relationship,if not please do so as keeping it in the back of your mind will only make you worse.Moving to a new city is never easy,it takes time to adjust, to your new surroundings,make shure you keep in contact with your family and old friends this will help you,rember they are only a phonecall away.Try and get to visit your family and friends say every few weeks or invite them to visit you.I hope that I have been some help to you,and please feel free to let me know how you are getting on and rember you are not alone take care for now Max D.

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