A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a gay male that acts masculine. Not everyone knows I'm gay but I'm afraid to be around other guys. I feel much better being around women. When I get around guys I feel like I don't fit in. I fill like a alien. I don't act feminine at all but yet I feel like I don't fit in around guys especially when they talk about sports, and girls because Im not into neither one. I feel odd because I don't feel like a guy. Guys say what's up and give hand shakes and stuff and I feel weird when I do that because I feel like I'm saying it or doing it wrong. I feel uncomfortable going to places like barber shops or whatever their are all guys because I feel weird like I don't fit in. I also feel funny when I try to act like a guy but dont know why. I don't act like a girl or anything I just feel more comfortable around them. I need to grow out of this because I am a guy and I will have to be around guys. How can I feel comfortable and do better about this situation? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (6 July 2012):
 Just try to look at everyone as a human being. Even though we all have different preferences and different beliefs we are all human and we all want to be liked and accepted. Straight guys are no different. You fit in because you're a human being. It is probably just something you're dealing with in your own mind. I am not gay, but I have always felt more comfortable around men because I don't always get into all the girl-talk and things my girlfriends do. I like going shopping but that is about it. Just give yourself some time. I also think as you get older, you will feel more comfortable aroud all people because you stop worrying about what others might think or if you're doing everything right.
A
male
reader, young-man  +, writes (6 July 2012):
Welcome to being gay! It is really common for us to feel exactly as you describe, I certainly do, and my close friends are either women or other gay men.
It might help if you build up your self-confidence and self-esteem, but this will happen naturally over time as you mature.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (6 July 2012):
 This needs building up gradually. When you meet friends, have a couple of girls and a guy in the group. This way it's not as intimidating for you. Make an effort to get to know the guy a little (nothing to elaborate, just chat about a common interest)
Gradually over time, once you start feeling more confident, add more guys in and do the same with them. This is by no means a 'quick-fix' this is going to take time and effort and even though you may feel out of your comfort zone, you have to persevere!
Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2012): There's nothing that you can do, really. Just be [You]rself. I'm sorry that this wasn't much of an answer.. But that's the best thing to do. Be yourself, because no matter who you are, you are perfectly unperfect.
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