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His muslim family won't accept me as I have a child. What can I do?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 November 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

i have been with my partner for 9months but we seem to have a problem. as his family won't accepet me because i have a child. as his family are muslim?

really need some advice please

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006):

Take religion out of the problem for a moment.

Would you be OK to be with a guy whos parents do not accept you because you have a child?

I think that makes them pretty horrible, jugemental people. I think this guy would have to be pretty special to make up for what you are loosing; grandparents and of course, being a daughter-in-law and being part of your loved-ones family. These can be huge things, and to have to give them all up because they have such narrowminded views is pretty sad.

What you decide to you will depend on how important you think it is that your child will have a family on his step-dads side. I think you should also think of how difficult it will be on your child as they grow up. They at some point, will find out why the parents don't want to have any thing to do with you or your child. Then of course theres the problem of the division it will cause between your partner and his parents. Will your boyfriend allegiance be with you, or his parents?

To be brutally honest with you; this guy had better be spectacularly amazing for you to even consider pursuing a relationship with him. You and your child must come first - and you both deserve a loving and supportive family from whoever you choose as your partner and father to your child.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (1 November 2006):

eddie agony auntWell, they are the ones who are wrong. They want the best for their son and probably feel a woman with a child would be more of a burden. Perhaps they question your morals, if you became pregnant out of wedlock. The concept of their concerns are understandable in theory, but NOT realistic. People who judge others to that degree believe they live behind a shield and that they are bullet proof, UNTIL something happens to them. While being a single mother can be a challenge and perhaps not what you expected in your life, you're an important, valid, human being who deserves respect. If this is going to be a struggle for the rest of your life, I'd suggest you break up with the guy. May people havae ideas about how and what their kids will do in life, that only goes so far. His parents sound like thry're stuck in the past.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006):

Face the facts: his family isn't going to change its opinion, so forget about him, find another guy, and get on with life.

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A female reader, kellyO United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2006):

kellyO agony auntHi there,

i think both of u have to work through this together.Talk to him and let him know how much it is important to you to get his family approval. If he does believe u are the one then perhaps with time he can get his family to accept you. But quite frankly i believe marriage or relationship is about two people involved and if he has accpeted you despite the fact that you have a child then that is all that matters.

Goodluck dear

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