A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. I have a question about men and lying. I've asked questions about this before here, and I'm trying to deal with it. I keep catching my bf tell me little white lies. In all honesty, I don't catch him lying about bigger picture important things. He'll just lie about something small where I don't think the answer itself matters either way. For example, he lie about what night he was out drinking, why he couldn't pick up my call (and he'll call back five minutes later anyway most of the time)...So what actually does bother me is not the answer, but the fact that he is lying. I don't even understand why he has to lie since it doesn't matter one way or another. I won't get mad if he drank on Friday instead of Saturday, or if he didn't pick up my call because he was on the other line. At the least I feel that he just shouldn't say anything rather than straight out lie. I feel hurt and betrayed when he does this. Do you think this is a red flag? I've been with this man for almost one year now. He treats me well and isn't up to anything shady as far as I know. Do you think I should just let these white lies go? Should I confront him about it? I know if I do this, it'll get all blown up, he'll be hurt... Do you think it's not a big deal as long as he's not lying about more important things, so I should just let it go? And how do I know that his little harmless white lies are an indication of something more harmful? I'm just really confused... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mashftw  +, writes (17 September 2011):
My boyfriend does the same... He lies because it's better to have a reason then to not have any. It is all about the impression thing, even if they don't see that it doesn't impress us. The bottom line is he's trying to keep you interested. Everyone lies. And it's probably a tiny part of him youll have to get used to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2011): hi,
in my opinion, any sort of lies are never good.. especially if that comes from someone u love.. and also being told quite often...
my advice, talk to him bout it.. it may not be a big problem now, but if it continues, u r the one who will get so frustrated and explode..
on another hand, if u already know all these white lies, tell him that u already know all that, but let him continues giving 'those lies' (which u both discuss together about) and be your own little secret.. that might come out as fun secret thingy between u two.. that way, u won't get so frustrated n enjoy them instead..
all the best (",) but i really prefer the 2nd one (",) hehehe
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