A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid...How much time do couples usually spend together talking or hanging out?I'm asking this because I notice my boyfriend's communication with me is inconsistent. Like some days he will be very talkative and really wanting to spend a lot of time with me, and then other days I don't even get a phone call from him and he will seem very emotionally distant like something's wrong. I always try and make sure he's okay and I'm always there for him but he always says he's okay and I'm just worrying too much. So I guess this is just his personality. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (2 January 2014):
 Your boyfriend sounds normal enough to me. People do go through moods. Sometimes we're outgoing and talkative and other times quiet and reflective.
What does stand out for me though is you 'always making sure he's okay' and 'always being there for him'. That sounds a lot like 'clingy' to me so I suggest you ease up or you will have something to worry about.
Everyone needs their personal space, some more than others. Apparently he needs more than you do and if you keep crowding him with your need for reassurance, he's going to get bored and irritated.
You've got to find something more productive to do with yourself. Surely you have hobbies, other friends, chores to do, errands to run, books to read. Keep busy and stop always being there for him. If you want to keep him, you have to be more interesting and more independent.
A
female
reader, caaitlinemma  +, writes (2 January 2014):
If he's not responding to your concern then either he doesnt feel 100% comfortable in sharing his problem with you and you can't do anything until he relaxes more in your relationship so just continue to display your affection. The more likely outcome is that he simply is like this, my ex was quite like this and when I talked to him about he said it was he was concerned he'd come off as clingy so would try to back off sometimes so he didn't push me awayEither way, don't stress. Enjoy the relationship and if you don't then leave it if its his personality hes not going to change and if it upsets you to a high level then perhaps you need to talk to him
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