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female
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anonymous
writes: to whom it may concern,i have been seeing a gentlemen for about 3 months now,he seem's to be sincere, he strongly believes in god and goes to church every day... when we get togetherwe laugh alot and have fun being with each other...here's my question:: he is sincenerly a very busy man at his job being a fireman, emt and also work's on carson his free time.. he is also in the process of renovating his home. this i have seen for myself, he has everyroom torn apart..he calls and than tells me he will call back which does not alway's happen... i understand he work's hardand all.. for example he called me tues. and he workedthe firehouse wed. so he said he would call thur sometime its now friday afternoon and yet no call!!!sat. he work's again.. should i call him or just seewhen he call's.... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 If he's sincere, and you feel that he respects you and that he treats you well, then you have two choices. You can accept that his life is very full, and enjoy whatever time you have together, or you can decide that, good man or not, you're not happy with this arrangement and walk away.
Decide for yourself which is your best choice. Does his not following up on his calls leave you feeling like "last choice"? Or is your time together so good that you feel like you can put up with the way things are?
Some men get very caught up in what they're doing, with a very narrow focus until the job is done. This doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't think you rate; it just means that most men don't "multitask" as naturally as most women.
Maybe one solution is for you to volunteer to help him on his renovation project. You might not have carpentry or plumbing skills, but I'm sure you could pitch in any number of non-professional ways. It might be a chance to spend time together, and get to know him on his own "turf".
In the end, the choice is yours. Just because he has nice qualities doesn't automatically mean that he's a good match for you. Consider whether you'd be happier waiting for the brief time you get with him, or whether you might be better off with the full attention of someone whose life isn't quite so full. Then follow your instincts. You deserve to be happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2006): Look, you said he's a busy man. He seems to keep himself busy aside from being a fireman, which is great. If he doesn't call, it means he's probably forgot. This doesn't mean he takes you for granted. It probably means he's too tired or too focussed on something to remember.
Sometimes, I work and work and work and realized it's dark outside, then think, "Is it still morning? What time is it?" Then realize an entire day has passed.
I believe you should call him instead of waiting around.
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