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Hes always got an excuse not to have sex, what can I do ?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 July 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Im really fed up that my boyfriend always says its the wrong time for sex! Doesnt matter what time of day, what day of the week its always something in the way... today hes hot.... its been hotter than this before and we have had sex, im getting where i dont feel attractive anymore and not sexually desired, we have numerous arguments about this but it doesnt ever resolve.. apart from this we are the perfect couple which is what is so annoying.. we are totally in love but the sex is scare, its gone from 1-2 a week, to every other week, i try to get a medium in between and he tells me to just have a wank. I guess its because he has a wank before he goes to work in the mornings.. i really dont know what to do about this as its bringing me down and im starting to feel unwanted sexually i have told him all this and he just says we dont have to have sex all the time.. im like some of the time would be nice, we are both in our 30's and have been together about 3 years... sometimes i dont even instiage sex because im scared of being turned down, every time i am turned down it makes me feel worse, i have told him all this and he still says he loves me fancies me and does do a lot for me, how can i get it through to him that i need to be desired, im going crazy and dont know what to do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2006):

I posted the question... Thanks bu I Have tried all that, i walk around naked most of the time and have tried the dressing up sexily and as he wasnt in the mood just walked past me... i dont instigate had left it 2 weeks then insitgated.. the wanking he does before work after i have left to go to work, he says he still fancies me but it never changes and im pretty downheartened about it now.. the realtionship is too good to throw away we always had such a good sex life and it faded to nothing and dont know what to do its tearing me apart i love him like no other and he me, its just this part thats driving a wedge and i dont know what the problem is, he says there isnt one and its driving me insane :o(

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A female reader, Tine United Kingdom +, writes (22 July 2006):

Tine agony aunthave you ever tried waiting for him coming home from work in the sexiest underwear you have? or how about cooking him a romantic meal with a number of aphrodiasiacs on the menu? A woman has many sexual desires and in order to feel sexy herself she has to be told and showed how sexy she is. If you arent getting this from a relationship an you feel it to be a much needed point then i suggest you give him an ultimatium, either get back into the way of a racy sex life or leave and find one else where

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2006):

maybe the next time he is having a wank, you can replace his hand with yours.

dont instigate anything. leave him for a couple of days, carry on as normal, until he starts wondering why you are not trying. then start dressing sexy before bed, come out of the shower naked, strut your stuff, but still dont instigate anything! tease him. if he still fancies you then this should work

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