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female
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*ilcountrygirl79
writes: Hi there.I am in a weird situation. My b/f of about 2 years just stopped speaking to me and all of his friends. Nobody can get through on his cell phone, because he keeps ignoring the calls. I sent him a text message asking to meet, and he said okay, but never showed up, and texted me back saying it was late and he needed to go to bed. I believe he's trying to sort things out. I texted back and asked if we are okay, but he said he doesn't know how to answer that. I don't know what to make of this. He has been out of the loop for exactly one week. We don't fight, but I do let him know when I am disappointed about cancelling plans, and other things. But, I also tell him how much I enjoy his company, too. We even had wonderful sex a few nights before he "went into hiding". A friend of his asked if we were still dating and he grumbled. I'm not sure if I should just end all things because he won't talk, or wait until he's ready to talk. I don't want to sit around and wait forever, though. This has been a really emotional time for me. I don't understand. What should I do with him? He's already acting like we're over. The other thing, I asked him if he needed space, or we're done and he never replied.
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male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (23 August 2006):
 This sounds like it could be depression, I have been in this situation where I just shut myself off from everybody.
I lost all interest in everything I enjoyed, plus prefered to just be on my own. I would switch my phone off and just lie in bed and cry.
I dont believe he doesnt care anymore, even if he actually said it. He just needs the support at the moment, even if that means giving him space. I would advise him to speak to a doctor or even allow you to go over and have a good talk with him. Try not to pressure him or get angry with him, he seems to be very fragile at the moment and is probably frightened of what is happening to him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): dont listen to him get on with your own life he obviously doesnt care anymore
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A
female
reader, joislack +, writes (29 October 2005):
take your time.sort things out for yourself the same way he is doing.ask if you can really tolerate waiting for him a little while.you have been together for 2 years so i am sure you can wait for a little while longer until things reveal themselves.it is completely up to you. do what makes you comfortable.he may need you more than ever so if you do decide to leave keep friendship in mind if you can handle that.don't just throw it all away.i know it takes 2 but that can also mean that one can help the other while the other is down and vice versa.it is not just for when everything is fine.be careful though.start bracing yourself for a break-up if you don't make the decision to leave before he tells you something.you can also pray if you believe in GOD because he always shows you something!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): To be honest you really dont know what might be going on in his life or his head or even both..there could be issues that arent to do with you and him as a couple and is hiding away to not drag you into these issues i feel you should be patient and try your best to support him in whatever way he will let you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): Something has happened in his life that has thrown him for a loop. It is more likely something to do with his career or avocation, than with you. Tell him to " Talk to me." And then wait. The silence will get to him.
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A
female
reader, QueenB75 +, writes (29 October 2005):
I've seen this before where one side acts like it's over and the other side is trying to make out the mixed message that person is sending. This is where things can get dangerous because you will have people playing these stupid games and someone ends up hurt. If he can't make up his mind and give you a logical answer of whether you stay together or stay broken up and go your separate ways you make it up for him and trust me he won't like the choice you make and stick to your guns because people who play like this will end up doing this to the wrong person and paying for it later. You deserve better than this kind of silliness. I would not waste anymore energy or time on someone who can't even be mature enough to give you the answer you're entitled to have.
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A
female
reader, Topps +, writes (28 October 2005):
I can only offer a little advice. They say 'women talk, men go to their caves' Perhaps give him as much time as you can tolerate and then make your choice. Seems like you hurting waiting for his choice
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2005): if he's not talking to any of his friends and its not JUST you, then I say there's something SERIOUS going on and he'll tell you when he's ready.
But if he's only ignoring you, I say end it. Well, i would tell him "If you don't give me a straight answer, I'll assume things are over"...or something to that effect.
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